– I will upload a classmate’s 3 Poems, and I need you to review all 3 of them as the following … 1. Try to come up with at least ten meaningful, helpful comments (i.e., not “This is great! You deserve an ‘A’!”) Really try to help your peer as he or she moves on to the next draft.2. Praise what you like. If you can only think of ways to praise a work (and are having trouble criticizing the work), try to figure out why you like this work so much. Try to explain why to yourself and the writer. 3. Ask questions. If some part of the work, sentence, or idea does not make sense to you, ask the author about that part of the work. Also, feel free to ask questions that will help the author actualize his or her ideas a little more completely in the next draft. Ask the types of questions that will help this work develop in revision.4. Make suggestions. Suggest different ways this work could develop in revision. 5. Critique what doesn’t work for you. If some aspect of this work feels problematic for you, try to explain the problem (and possibly how the author or poet could better address the problem). 6. With all types of comments, please be specific. Try to explain why you feel the way you do.You may type ten separate comments or you may let your comments and ideas collect in longer paragraphs. Additionally, remember to give others the courtesy, respect, and depth of commentary that you would hope to receive from them.
domniq_s_poems.docx
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Domonique Hume
Writing Poetry 311
May 17, 2019
Poem Portfolio
My First Love
You were my first everything.
Experiencing this thing called love so late confused me.
What do I do? What do I say? How do I react?
All the things that were roaming through my head.
You’re not perfect, but you grew on me.
Giving you the chance that everyone before you never reserved.
I finally took a chance on this thing called love.
I can’t pretend you didn’t help me grow.
In more ways than one you taught me so much.
Much more than I give you credit for.
You listened to my stupid ideas.
You believed in my crazy dreams.
And you always motivated me.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but you were a great friend.
Maybe we should have kept it that way, because when I finally gave you the chance you
changed.
Angry…
Moody…
Upset…
A side of you that I honestly didn’t want to believe.
After that first physical exchange, which I still blame myself for
The next day when I began to feel that aftermath,
I was in denial.
I tried to make thing work.
I dedicated myself to bettering you, but you couldn’t see that.
You thought I was trying to change you,
but I saw something in you that you couldn’t see in yourself.
I loved you.
Then the day came, and you showed me your true self.
I told myself I refuse to be a statistic.
But every time I left, I forgave.
A few times.
And our final encounter happened.
That’s when everything came together from how it started to how it ended.
I ended it and didn’t go back.
For a while he sent me messages asking for forgiveness.
But I couldn’t he needed help that I couldn’t give him.
Now engaged and two kids later he sent me a message thanking me for believing in him.
People ask me how I feel…
I don’t know…
I do know he wasn’t designed to me my husband.
But he is still my first love.
One Day…
Waiting…
For what?
An idea. Concept. Or maybe an illusion.
Whatever it is…
It’s not there waiting for me
The way I’d hope
Instead its disappointment. And frustration.
They say with time all things can heal
Maybe the emotional…
But the mental still lingers
Haunting me every time I begin to think positively
So, I close my eyes every night
Asking God
To take the pain away
And every morning I wake up
I still feel the pain
But I have faith
So, I wait…
To Grandma
This feeling is different.
I’m graduating soon and you’re supposed to be here.
But you’re not…
Please don’t confuse what I’m saying.
I’m not blaming you.
I’m just sad that I didn’t say what I wanted to you.
I want to thank you for always including me, even though my father isn’t here.
Making me feel like I was part of a family I felt excluded from.
You called me so often, but I answered so few.
The thing that pains me the most is that I didn’t tell you.
What you meant to me.
I think about and talk about you so often.
I tell people how strong you are.
Life wasn’t easy for you, but you didn’t complain.
You lived your life to the fullest.
You traveled.
You laughed.
You loved.
I appreciate how you motivated me; I hope I make you proud.
And tell daddy I said hi.
I love you.
…
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