1- I have a strong start. Please review these guidelines as you revise and complete your next draft.It should follow one of these patterns:Pattern A: Body Paragraph #1-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #2-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #3-Your third point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #4-Refutation of the opposing view point.Pattern B:Body Paragraph #1- Refutation of the opposing view point.Body Paragraph #2-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #3-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #4- Your third point/reason and its supporting evidencePattern C: Body Paragraph #1-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Body Paragraph #2-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Body Paragraph #3-Your third point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Be sure your essay does the following:1. Argue your ideas logically (logos).2. Appeal to your readers’ concerns, beliefs, and values (pathos).3. Establish credibility (ethos).4. Offer evidence that effectively supports your claims.5. Present a call to action in your conclusion.Revising Checklist:1. Remember your audience. You should use an appropriate tone for this essay (do not use an angry or antagonistic tone). Also, remember not to insult any readers that may not agree with your position. Present your argument logically and non-threateningly. You want to win readers over because of your relevant and truthful examples, not through bullying or logical fallacies.2. Recognize logical fallacies. Logical fallacies are common errors in reasoning that all good writers try to avoid. Not only should you avoid them, but if you find them present in the opposition’s argument, you should point them out as a means to demonstrate why the opposing argument is weaker than your argument.3. Cite all of your sources. First, make sure you are using the required amount/type of sources.4. Check for grammatical/mechanical errors. Reading your paper aloud, as you may have figured out during your presentation, is a great way to catch mistakes. Having someone else read it aloud is even better, because they will stumble over mistakes that you might read through since you subconsciously know what you actually meant.
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Smoking Ban in El Cajon
In the United States, smoking has been the leading preventable cause of death accounting for
more than 400,000 deaths every year. It does not only affect those who are smokers but also
bystanders with secondhand smoke accounting for 53,000 deaths every year (Siegel et al., 1575).
This, therefore, means that everyone’s life is at stake when a smoker is roaming the streets with a
lit cigarette. Cigarette butts are also a source of environmental pollution as they are flicked
anywhere by smokers; therefore, littering the streets. In response to these environmental and
health concerns, the State of San Diego banned smoking in most public places. Was the State of
San Diego justified to pass the smoking ordinance and how was it going to affect smokers and
what were the reasons that motivated the move.
The purpose of the ordinance was to reduce the number of tobacco-related deaths in both
smokers and nonsmokers. Tobacco smoking is a danger and causes irritation, discomfort, and
annoyance to people in confined places. People with existing respiratory conditions are
especially at risk when one smokes around them. Importantly, the ordinance was passed to mind
public health, the safety and welfare of people, to minimize the exposure of secondhand smoke
to nonsmokers, to make the city cleaner and ensure that the environment was more hygienic to
the residents and also to visitors, to reduce exposure of children to the tobacco smoke and also to
mind those suffering from respiratory diseases. There were five clear objectives to be focused on
by the ordinance. Firstly, to ban tobacco smoking in public areas and places of environment,
secondly, to ban people from serving themselves in shelves displaying tobacco, thirdly, the
ordinance requires that the point of tobacco sale display warning signs about tobacco smoking
and also stipulate the legal age that is required for someone to be sold a tobacco product.
Additionally, it bans the selling of tobacco by vending machines, and lastly, it necessitates that
tobacco products be sold in their original packaging that shows all the health risks (“Smoking
Ordinance Index”).
The ordinance was met by protests by many smokers as they felt that their rights were being
infringed. A 46-year old smoker named Richard Brown stated that “if I choose to smoke in a
public area, I shouldn’t have to go out in my car or drive out of town to smoke a cigarette. Most
people have legs, and they can move away from whoever is smoking” (Hill 1). This kind of
perspective by smokers is wrong as they are the ones who are the source of irritation; therefore it
should be them moving away from other people to take a smoke. After all in a social gathering,
for example, people who smoke are usually fewer in number than the non-smokers. Therefore, it
would be illogical for nonsmokers to move away from a place to give smokers a chance to
smoke. Additionally, nonsmokers do not present any health risk to smokers or other people for
that matter. Importantly, in some public spaces, there has been the setting aside of “smokers
outposts” where people are allowed to smoke; therefore smokers should abide by the laws.
Statistics show that the percentage of smokers in California only stands at 13 percent therefore
with the vast majority being nonsmokers; it should be easy to implement the laws since many
people would be willing to speak up and act as law enforcers by reminding the smokers of the
laws.
For more than one hundred years in California, selling of tobacco to persons aged below
eighteen years has been an illegal deed, but research had shown that 90 percent of the current
smokers started smoking before they attained the age of 18. Before the ordinance was passed, it
was reported that more than 40 percent of retailers in El Cajon had been selling tobacco to
customers under the age of 18, but after the ordinance, the figure went down to 1 percent. Many
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retailers could have been selling the tobacco products to underage persons knowingly since there
were no strict laws to adhere to or there was no follow up with the relevant authorities. The
ordinance requires that they should ask for Identification before selling a tobacco product to
anyone unless they have a credible reason to believe that they are of age.
Conclusively, smoking is not banned in the City of El Cajon. The City Council has only
come up with laws to protect nonsmokers from dangers presented by secondhand smoke, and
therefore only smokers who do not care about the health of other citizens will feel burdened by
the laws. Those wishing to smoke when they are not in their houses can do so in “smokers’
outposts” which have been set aside to cater for their habit. Public smoking is a health risk for
nonsmokers as they inhale the secondhand smoke which may lead to them developing health
issues which are tobacco-related. Others have respiratory conditions, and the smoke from the
cigarettes greatly irritates them.
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Work’s cited
Siegel, Rebecca L., et al. “Deaths due to cigarette smoking for 12 smoking-related cancers in the
United States.” JAMA internal medicine 175.9 (2015): 1574-1576.
Hill, Heather. “El Cajon May Pass Ultra-Strict Anti-Smoking Law”. KPBS Public Media, 2007,
https://www.kpbs.org/news/2007/jul/23/el-cajon-may-pass-ultra-strict-anti-smoking-law/.
Accessed 1 May 2019.
Cityofelcajon.Us, 2008, https://www.cityofelcajon.us/home/showdocument?id=8305. Accessed 1
May 2019.
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