1- I have a strong start. Please review these guidelines as you revise and complete your next draft. It should follow one of these patterns:Pattern A:
Body Paragraph #1-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #2-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #3-Your third point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #4-Refutation of the opposing view point.Pattern B: Body Paragraph #1- Refutation of the opposing view point.Body Paragraph #2-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #3-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidenceBody Paragraph #4- Your third point/reason and its supporting evidencePattern C:
Body Paragraph #1-Your first point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Body Paragraph #2-Your second point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Body Paragraph #3-Your third point/reason and its supporting evidence (which also refutes one of your opposition’s claims)Be sure your essay does the following:
1. Argue your ideas logically (logos).
2. Appeal to your readers’ concerns, beliefs, and values (pathos).
3. Establish credibility (ethos). 4. Offer evidence that effectively supports your claims. 5. Present a call to action in your conclusion.Revising Checklist:1. Remember your audience. You should use an appropriate tone for this essay (do not use an angry or antagonistic tone). Also, remember not to insult any readers that may not agree with your position. Present your argument logically and non-threateningly. You want to win readers over because of your relevant and truthful examples, not through bullying or logical fallacies.
2. Recognize logical fallacies. Logical fallacies are common errors in reasoning that all good writers try to avoid. Not only should you avoid them, but if you find them present in the opposition’s argument, you should point them out as a means to demonstrate why the opposing argument is weaker than your argument.
3. Cite all of your sources. First, make sure you are using the required amount/type of sources.
4. Check for grammatical/mechanical errors. Reading your paper aloud, as you may have figured out during your presentation, is a great way to catch mistakes. Having someone else read it aloud is even better, because they will stumble over mistakes that you might read through since you subconsciously know what you actually meant.
fighting_clubs_essay_project.doc
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Legalizing Ring Fighting Clubs
The premise of the debate to ban ring fighting clubs is misconceived. This is based on
both the legal grounds and the social, economic and medical benefits of the rig fighting clubs.
The legalization of ring fighting clubs has various medical, social, and economic benefits to
individuals, local government, and the community. As a result, the state of San Diego should
legalize ring fighting clubs in order to reap the benefits for its citizens.
Ring fighting is an activity similar to boxing and it requires the use of physical and
mental energy, which is a form of exercise. For that reason, it has been identified that this
type of boxing is medically beneficial to individuals battling with stress, obesity, and
cardiovascular conditions. For instance, engaging in the activity will increase the
participants’ athletic prowess such as speed, hand-eye coordination, agility, endurance, and
nerve power (Morrissey, et al.2018). For instance, it will enhance the cardiovascular health of
the individuals; will increase the improved body strength; result to better hand-eye
coordination; reduce the amounts of stress among the participants and the audience; improve
the body composition of those participating in the matches. Obesity is caused by poor diets
which are high in carbohydrates coupled with lack or low physical activities levels. As a
result, legalizing ring fighting clubs will give people the opportunity to increase their physical
activity levels thus preventing them from developing obesity. On the other hand, those who
are already obese benefit from ring fighting clubs which is a form of intense exercise to burn
the extra fat and calories, therefore, alleviating obesity. 33% of adults in San Diego are
overweight while the obese is 26%. It is better to legalize boxing clubs and reduce the
burden of providing treatment for cardiovascular diseases, depression, obesity and health
conditions associated with it than to ban it and use resources that could be diverted to other
sectors of the economy to deal with these health conditions.
2
Making ring fighting legal will increase the total revenue collected by the local
government of San Diego. Many people are interested in the sport and it will attract a high
number of people, who have to pay before watching or participating in the fighting matches
(Rudd, et al.2016). Ring fighting is always considered an illegal and dangerous activity given
the violence that comes with the practice. That is why most of the ring fights are carried out
in discreet and dangerous places, thus considered a black market business. However, if the
local government legalizes the practice, the stakeholders are likely to come up with proper
guidelines on how the sport can be conducted in a non-violent manner, and as an economic
activity. What’s more, ring fighting can help nurture the talents of young and upcoming
boxers, who can then become professional boxers like the likes of Muhammad Ali.
Additionally, the activity will provide jobs for various people such as those engaging in the
ring fights, the referees, cleaners, and security personnel.
Legalization of the boxing rings will increase diversity and tolerance among the
different ethnicities of people. Ring boxing is the same as professional boxing, and many
people find it to be an enjoyable activity, and by investing their time to attend these matches,
it will provide them with an opportunity to form better relations with each other in the
community. For instance, there are tensions between the African Americans, Spanish and
white people in the locality, thus providing them with a chance to share a common thing can
improve their relationship. On the same note, these boxing rings can help rehabilitate people
with issues such as anger, violence and drug problems. If the local government coordinates
with the organizers of these events, they can enlist people, particularly the young people who
have anger management issues, are violent and hooked to drugs to the ring to enable them to
develop a different perspective to life (Cruz, 2018). Sports have been identified to be a
successful way of dealing with such social issues thus it can be helpful to such individuals.
3
Despite its expected positive outcomes, the legalization of ring fighting may be a
dangerous activity to the contestants. Those participating in this activity risk developing
acute and traumatic brain injury. Besides, they are susceptible to violence and physical
injuries which can affect their daily bodily functions. As evidenced, the underground ring
fighting matches have resulted in the death of many people due to external hemorrhage or
hematomas. For this to be successful, it is necessary that the local government provides strict
guidelines to ensure that the participants do not use violence and too much force. Since the
main risk is brain damage and head injuries, it is important to encourage the use of protective
gear on the head during boxing. This way, the negative effects of in-ring fighting will be
averted (Patterson & Russel, 1986).
Boxing as a sport offers more benefits than disadvantages. The importance of this
sport in good health, provision of income and promoting cohesion among different social
groups cannot be ignored. The statistics given in this paper show that the rates of obesity and
overweight are high. This means that thre is risk of conditions associated with obesity such as
diabetes and high blood pressure. Concisely, there is a need for swift action in legalizing inring fighting clubs the lack of which will result in increased cases of obesity, depression, and
conflicts among different social groups in San Diego.
References
“CDC – Community Profile – County Of San Diego, CA – Communities Putting Prevention
To Work”. Cdc.Gov, 2019,
https://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dch/programs/communitiesputtingpreventiontowork/co
mmunities/profiles/obesity-ca_sandiego-county.htm.
Cruz, Gang Prevention for Youth through Boxing and Anger Management Training: A Grant
Proposal. California State University, Long Beach. (2018)
4
Morrissey, Montero, Raverdy, Masson, Amiot, and Vinet, A. Effects of Exercise Intensity on
Microvascular Function in Obese Adolescents. International journal of sports
medicine, 39(06), 450-455. (2018).
Rudd, Hodge, Finley, R., Lewis, and Wang, should we ban boxing? Bum, 352, i389. (2018).
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